Exam Procrastination? Not Good.

Church.  I've been going lately, and it's really been helping me lately.  Forgiveness is the key here.

I have self-confidence issues, as in on-the-verge-of-breaking-down-in-tears-every-day sort of self-confidence issues.  I had come down to the fact that this has been caused by the bullying that I had been a victim of a few years back, by media, by the pretty people at school putting me down.

The sermon at church yesterday said that forgiveness doesn't let a person off the hook, it's the first step to a healing process.  That's exactly what I did!  I prayed to God, said that I will forgive the people that have hurt me in the past, said that I will apologise to the people that I have hurt.

I have been feeling a lot better because of church.  I honestly don't know how to argue that God exists, or even if He exists at all, but knowing that there is someone there guiding me is really helping me out.  I really feel like He's there, you know?

I need to stop being all preachy.

But I just want to close with a few words that have helped me for the past week:

'Passionately wait
Diligently seek
Quietly hope.'

RUOK? Day

So I woke up this morning, showered, got dressed, went to have breakfast, and then when I looked at the TV, there was a news report about RUOK? Day, which I have never heard of until now.  It's a day where you take the time to talk to someone you care about and start a conversation, asking if they are okay.  The whole point of this day is to help prevent suicide, and I think this is a really great way to do that.

To me, I think the best thing for someone with depression is for them to have a support system - someone they can talk to regularly, someone can rely on.

In writing this, I'm suddenly thinking about my friend, Bella (not her real name).  We stopped talking 6 months ago, and then the other day, she text me.  With that first conversation, I remembered the reason why we stopped talking - it was because I was sick of her complaining to me and telling me all of her problems.

She told me two days ago that she had depression, and we haven't talked since.  I was thinking: 'I really don't have time to deal with this.  I only have a couple of weeks until exams, and I can't afford to let my focus down'.

I realised this morning that I'm a bitch.

Rather than thinking this, I should be helping her out, be her support system.  Although we haven't talked in ages, she's obviously text me as a last resort so she can have someone to help her through it.  It's going to be hard for with exams, but I think that I can do it!  I will make sure that I will.  To be honest, I'm scared of doing this - I have no idea how to comfort someone, and although I'm not depressed, I have breakdowns practically all the time, so it's not like I'm a strong person to take all of this.  But I will try, and that is all that matters.

Of Costumes and... Wait, No Netball

It seems that this year there will be no grand final for my team.  It's alright, though, because the odds were completely against us.  I hate making excuses, but there was injury and rather bad umpiring in the last game.  Of course, those aren't the reasons we lost, but it certainly wasn't helping us.  The other team was simply playing better that game.

Although, it was nice seeing Gordon.  He is coaching the team that we were playing, but he also coached me and another girl on my team for TID, which is the level above normal netball.  I must say that he was the guy who made me a better shooter.  It's funny though, because I was shooting in the first quarter, and then I was switched to defense for the rest of the game, so it wasn't like he got the chance to see any improvement there!

Anyway, seeing as I'm not playing netball next week (I am incredibly disappointed about the loss by the way) there will be time to go to my sister's house warming and one of my friends birthday party.  Of course, I'm going to missing the actual party because I'll be at the house warming, but of course I am going to be there for the sleep over part, so that should be fun enough!

I will be able to see Freddo again!  He has probably grown so much!  Still so freaking adorable!

I got my costume on Friday for muck up day.  My parents picked it up from my sister's, Nicole's, house.  The Slytherin robe is... quite a couple of inches too short, but that's okay.  It's not like I could choose the measurements or anything, and it doesn't look that bad anyway!

Now, I just have to decide whether I should dress up as a Slytherin or a skanky Slytherin... I really need to think about that.  To be honest, I don't have the confidence to do the whole skank thing - it's just not me!

In other news, I have a new love for the TV show, Camelot.  Of course, tonight's episode isn't on because a 9/11 tribute, and videobb is being annoying and saying 'you've watched your 72 minutes, wait another hour before you can start watching again'.  Of course, I don't really want to watch because I want some damn sleep.

Actually, I'm getting up early tomorrow morning to do Zumba, so I should probably get some sleep right now...

Good night!

And It's That Time of the Day Again!

I'm in free period right now, procrastinating from doing Indonesian... or English... or Biology.  To be honest, now that I have so many free periods, I'm not that stressed about not getting any work done because I have so much free time to do it.

But I should be stressing, because exams are in one month, and the results of these exams go to our final mark.  Then after that, there's a week break, then we have to do another set of exams, and that determines what university we can go to or even if we can get into university at all.  It should be stressful!

The only thing that I should be worrying about is Maths and English, and I'm not even really worrying about that!

During the week between the two sets of exams, there's a week of mayhem for the Leavers!  We spend the first two days getting our results back from our first exams and figuring out what we got wrong and how we can improve.  The third day is gender swap day.  It's hilarious because the boys will be wearing dresses and the girls will be wearing the boys uniform.  Then day four is muck up day!

I have some good news.  My Slytherin robe and tie has been delivered to my sister's house, and I will be picking it up this Friday.  Guess what I'll be wearing for muck up day?!  Also, there is activities for the year 12's during the last half of muck-up day, and there is rumours that there is going to be a Quidditch tournament.  I sincerely hope that this is true, because that will be freaking amazing!

Also, during muck-up day, there are house assemblies, so each house has their own little farewell assembly.  The two PCG classes in each house sit up the front in their costumes, and the PCG tutors give little speeches about each student in the class. We also get little gifts and receive letters that we wrote to ourselves five years ago.

I am really excited for this!

And finally on the fifth day, there's the whole school valedictory assembly.  There are speeches, and music performances, this weird little annointing thing where we get blessed and get oil on our foreheads.  It's going to be so amazing!

After the valedictory assembly, the whole year group as a tradition goes down to the beach to celebrate.  So much fun!

Before, I didn't want to graduate highschool, and I was completely scared about going into the real world.  I didn't want to go to university, and start dealing with financial issues.  I didn't want to grow up at all!  Now I am thinking the exact opposite!

I want to graduate, and I want this year to end.  Even though exams are horrible and that I shouldn't want to be going through them, I just want to get it over and done with!  And then of course there is three months between school and the start of university.  That will give me plenty of time to at least get onto my second phase of my L's (L plates - learner drivers.  There are two phases.  Once on second phase you need to drive at least 25 hours before getting your license).

This is all just so freaking excited, and the whole not knowing what's going to happen or how it's going to happen is all a part of the fun!

It has suddenly just clicked how much I talk about school on this blog.  I really should stop!

I should be off.  School finishes in five minutes!

What Makes Me Happy?

There are plenty of things that make me happy, but there is one thing that I am celebrating at the moment - I have finished my Maths assignment, and I understand the concepts in it.

I know it's such a little thing, but I suck at Maths, and I feel like that I have accomplished something when I comlete an assignment and I understand it.

Of course, I had to bug my friend for help, but how can you learn if you don't ask for help?

Also, I was just in free period, preparing for an in-class essay in English that I have on Thursday.  Again, I feel like I have accomplished something because I showed my teacher the work that I have done and he says that I am on the right track.

Anyway, I'm in PCG at the moment (which, for any Americans who may be reading this) is like Homeroom.  Except we have 10 minutes in PCG first thing in the morning and then half an hour in PCG after our first class.

Then recess!

Usually I study or something in PCG (all my friends are in other PCG's, unfortunately) but I feel like I have done a lot, so I think that I deserve a little break, at least.

There is about five minutes left, so I'm going to pack up now.  I expect that I will be writing something a little more entertaining soon!

A Little Thing Called the Internet

The internet really is the best thing that has ever happened to society.  It has connected people, made assignment SOOOOO much easier, made researching easier, buying, selling, everything!

For me it has done two things:

1. Helped me with assignments
2. Provided me with a medium in which I could find people who are like me, and I could become friends with.

I don't think that last sentence was grammatically correct.  Anyhow...

I've made so many friends over the internet who share the same interests as me (which is a lot harder to find IRL) and it's made it easier to keep connected with people I met when they were travelling to Perth or who I've met in Indonesia.  It's really amazing!

I just read a post from someone I follow on blogspot, and they just discovered the 'Audience' part of blogspot.  She was so amazed that there were people from all over the world reading her blog!  And it really is amazing!

I just can't get over how a computer with internet connection can let you see or talk to someone on the opposite side of the globe. 

I'm loving this!

This is Anna's blog.  She's amazing!

Of Nerdy Things and Netball Finals

Yesterday, I must say, was one of the best I've had in a while.

My best friend's birthday is tomorrow, which happens to be the same day as father's day.  We decided that we would celebrate it yesterday rather than tomorrow!  Everyone from our group brought lollies and chips to school, and there was also party hats and cake.  Well, one friend works at a bakery and she was going to get of her work mates to make a Harry Potter themed cake... well, he totally forgot.  So we had chocolate cake instead!

At lunch, there was junk food everywhere.  It was insane the amount of food we had.

There were three of us that went home with her for her party.  She and her mum made a cake that was shaped as Hogwarts (pics later, maybe) and we got to decorate it with lollies.  She had gummy slugs, cockroach clusters (which were crushed pretzels, peanut butter and chocolate), Bertie Botts, sherbet lemons, pretzel wands.

It was amazing!  We watched the Little Mermaid, the first Harry Potter movie, then we started watching AVPM but we sort of fell asleep.

This whole time I was trying hard not to eat all the junk food and needed to get to sleep early because today is.... my first netball final!  Well it isn't my first, it's the preliminary.   I've been in the grand final twice (winning one), but last season I lost the second final for the team, and this year we plan on winning!  I will make sure of it!

Here's how finals goes:

1. The first and second team on the ladder verse each other (we are second), and the third and fourth team verse each other.
2. Whoever wins out of team one and two goes straight to the grand final.
3. The loser plays the winner our of three and four.
4. The team that loses out of three and four is completely out of the finals.
5. The team that wins the third game goes to the finals.

Now... if we win, we will go to the grand final and get a week off.  If we lose, we play again next week.  We will win.  I am sure of this.

Anyway... I need to go get ready.  Wish me luck!

More Downs Than Ups

So today definitely wasn't my best day.

I made an angry post last time, and I'm going to make another sort of ranting post today, but this one is going to be much because I have accepted the situation and something good may have come from it.

In Australia there is a celebration called Leavers Week.  Once all of the year 12's have finished their final exams, they go to different places like Kalbarri and Dunsborough (both probably spelled wrong - what kind of Australian am I?) and it's basically four days of full on partying.  It was originally something that was organised by the graduates, but now there is government funding and events and police everywhere.

It's tradition, and even if you don't go to the major locations, you at least leave wherever you live and do something.  It's a once in a lifetime opportunity.

It's something that I will never get to experience.

In my last post I mentioned that I wasn't allowed to go on real Leavers.  Well, my friend's grandpa owned a beach house in Mandurah (now, I know how to spell that one) and there were a few of us going, and there was going to be no alcohol or anything (which is great, because I'm not into drinking).  It's cancelled now because my friend's grandpa died a couple of weeks ago.  That is perfectly acceptable, and I feel very bad for my friend's loss.  She and her grandpa were really close, so close that she did the speech at the funeral.

Anyway.  Now I'm doing nothing because my best friend is going to America (and Harry potter world that bitch :P), my other bestie is going to Dunsborough, another friend is going to Kalbarri, another is going off with another group, and I had a fight with another (thank God, because it's not worth remaining friends with him for the last five weeks of school - that sounds really bitchy, but I will make the last weeks of my schooling life fun and not full of fights, so we're better off not remaining friends).  So... there goes all my closest friends.

My mother, father, aunt and uncle are going away the very same weekend as Leavers, which is incredibly inconvenient.  So, I have to choices - stay with my aunt for a week, or nan can come stay at the house with me for a week.

A very, very great Leavers week, I must admit.

Due to stress of final exams, fights, guy issues and everything else happening, I lost it.

I'm feeling a lot better now, though.

Hopefully my next post won't be so depressing because I guess readers (what readers?) are sick of this depressing crap at the moment, haha!